With the rapid change in social norms and standards, parents are seen as more confused than ever as to what expectations and limits to be projected onto their children. Especially in Pakistan, social norms are transitioning at a rapid pace due to a late but new-found interest and inclination towards modern education. What was once considered normal parenting practice, may now be seen as rigid or even abusive. The new generation is a lot more sensitive towards harsh behaviors than their parents or grandparents.
This has produced a new challenge for new parents. The only parenting they know of is the one they inherited from their own parents at a time when society was highly traditional. Now that the societal trend has moved more towards individualism and personal liberty, children are learning the importance of these values and demanding these characteristics as their just rights. Parents with traditional styles feel alien towards these demands and conceive them as a threat. Trying their best to save their children from such harmful practices, they either tend to take a stronger charge (Authoritarian parenting) of their children’s lives or give in completely to their children’s demands (Permissive parenting) thinking of each of their child’s demands as a demand of the modern times. Both these approaches result in raising children that turn into unhappy, discontent, and anxious adults that do not know how to respect themselves or others. Following is a brief discussion on styles of parenting and their possible outcomes as proposed by modern research and psychology.
Authoritarian Parenting:
Authoritarian parents tend to be controlling. They are rigid with the demands and the expectations that they hold of their children. They have pre-decided standards that they do not want to avert. This style of parenting has been researched and analyzed thoroughly and the results indicate that although the children of these parents turn out to be obedient and efficient, they lack a sense of genuine happiness and contentment. These children have been found to be more aggressive, anti-social, and most importantly have lower self-esteem. They often find it hard to form intimate bonds with their peers and are therefore more likely to experience emotional and psychological challenges associated with a lack of fulfilling connections.
Permissive Parenting:
This style of parenting is characterized by excessive granting and the absence of accountability. Permissive parents are child-centered. They are focused on entertaining the demands of their children to every possible extent. Such an approach is particularly harmful at the early childhood development (ECD) stage when characteristics like self-control, ability to wait, and empathy are being incorporated into the child’s personality unconsciously. A failure to maintain a balance between liberty and accountability can largely impact the course of the path of becoming successful adults. These children are often observed with high self-esteem and good social skills but are impatient, lack self-control, and are highly demanding.
Authoritative Parenting:
Also known as “Democratic” or “Contextual” parenting, authoritative parenting is characterized by warmth and liberty hands in hands with boundaries. This style of parenting has proven to have the best results in producing healthy adults. Authoritative parents are sensitive and supportive towards their children’s demands while sticking to certain limits. They impart in their children healthy self-esteem making them aware of their strengths and weaknesses as needed. Children of these parents are more cheerful, good achievers, and overall at a better chance of becoming happy successful adults.